


Prince Charming and the Fairytale Romance

by Mytiny_Sybarite



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-02-13 04:57:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2137815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mytiny_Sybarite/pseuds/Mytiny_Sybarite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robb Stark meets a tall, dark and handsome stranger in a club - the attraction is mutual and Robb is smitten. The only problem is that he's already taken. But will that stop them? And what will happen when Robb discovers whose boyfriend it is that he's stealing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prince Charming

**Author's Note:**

> There will be cheating and guilt. And sex. You have been warned.

"Fuck," the guy moaned, "Yeah, that… Do that again! Fuck!"

  
Robb made an amused noise around the cock in his mouth and flicked his eyes up at the guy leaning heavily against the stall door. Then he swallowed it all down again, as far as he could go. The guy moaned low and loud and Robb was glad the club blasted music out even in the toilets; even if Nocturne was the sort of club that expected blow jobs in the bathrooms, he'd rather not have an audience. That thought made his cock harder in his jeans and he wondered why his dick never agreed with his brain on these things… things like kneeling in a club bathroom stall sucking off a random stranger… he blamed the alcohol.

  
But the guy… he was beautiful in the way that Robb had only admitted to Jon was everything he wanted. It was a nice onus that he had dark hair, piercing blue eyes and perfectly toned body, but it was his attitude that turned Robb on. He was self-assured to the point of cocky, flirting and teasing with a grin that dared you to do something about it. Robb didn't know why that did it for him, but it tugged at him, clawed under his skin and took possession of his limbs until he'd pulled the guy from where they were grinding on the dance floor into the bathrooms. The cocky grin had remained until Robb had swallowed his cock down, after which point he'd just breathed out a combination of filth and encouragement. Which was immensely satisfying.

  
Robb was enjoying the reactions he was getting too much to worry about the ache in his jaw or the ache in his groin. Or about the amount of drool he was producing, which he hoped was as hot in real life as it looked when he watched porn; it didn't feel particularly sexy, but when Robb looked up again and watched the guy watching him, breathing hard and moaning and figured it must look alright. Robb began to pick up the pace, going faster but keeping it deep.

  
A hand combed through his hair, gripped hard as the guy started to thrust into his mouth and then he was coming in Robb's mouth; the bitter taste hit the back of his throat, almost making him gag, but he swallowed it back and let the softening cock twitch in his mouth while he swirled his tongue gently around it. He looked up at the guy who was panting and sweaty.

  
"Fuck…" the guy breathed.

  
Robb turned and reached for some tissue to wipe his mouth, then got to his feet.

  
The guy watched him, "wasn't sure I'd even come... I've drunk so much… "

  
Robb smirked, "well, I'm not saying it was easy or anything…"

  
Robb pressed the guy back against the stall door again; he was flushed and his breath was still coming fast. Then Robb was being kissed hard and desperate, as if the guy was determined to lick and kiss and bite every taste of himself from Robb's mouth.

  
"Fuck," Robb moaned, "wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you… the way you look, the way you act… want to take you now, want to fuck you right here…"

  
The guy went ridged; for a moment Robb thought he'd said something wrong and then the guy said, "Shit! What time is it?"

  
He pushed Robb back, but only to dig through his pockets and pull out his mobile phone.

  
"Fuck…. I have to go… I'm sorry…" he muttered.

  
"We don't have to-" Robb started.

  
"It's not that… I have before lots of times… I just… I have to go… My lift is collecting me at midnight…" the guy looked embarrassed and awkward, as he unlocked the stall door and peered out.

  
Robb followed him out, trying not to look crestfallen. He attempted to cover his disappointment with a humour, "Midnight, huh…? Got a glass slipper for me then, princess?"

  
Robb winced at the guy's back, hoping he didn't sound as much like a desperate 13 year old girl quoting fairytales as he suspected he did.

  
The guy turned back, "As _charming_ as that blowjob was," he smirked, "this is hardly a fairytale romance!"

  
The guy held a hand out, palm up. Robb looked at it blankly and the guy sighed. "Phone," he said in exasperation. Robb handed it over quickly and the guy typed something in, his fingers flying like a musician or an archer, dexterous as fuck and Robb was thinking bad things again…

  
He held the phone out. Robb reached out to take it, but the guy held on for a moment, looked into his eyes with an intensity that was half lust and half challenge, and said, "I have to go, but next time I'll suck your brains out through your dick and then you can scream my name while _I_ fuck _you_ … _Princess_."

  
The guy let go of the phone, pushing it into Robb's hands. Robb looked down at the numbers and the name above them, " _Prince Charming_ , huh? Courteous and modest too - who says this isn't a fairytale romance?!"

  
Robb looked up as the door closed, catching just a glimpse of the guy disappearing out into the press of people.

 

 

"So where did you disappear off to?" Jon asked as they waited for a taxi, "Or do I not want to know…?"

  
"Nowhere," Robb said, tapping out a text on his phone and smiling to himself.

  
_'You know I'm not going to want to be moaning Princess when I'm coming in your mouth, so you should probably supply your real name ;-) x'_

  
He got no reply and whilst he checked his phone all the way back to the flat he shared with Jon and Ygritte, he wasn't worried yet because the guy had said that he had to be home, so he might be asleep by now…

  
Jon laughed at Robb continuously checking his phone and Ygritte teased him for being a teenage girl, but smiled as brightly as Jon when she thought he wasn't looking.

He slept like the dead and woke late. He checked his phone and had a message… from Sansa.

  
_'Are you bringing a date to my party next week? If not, I have a friend I can introduce you to…? xxx'_

He felt more disappointed than he'd expected to, but tapped in the reply all the same,

  
_'Not unless I meet someone in the next six days and, as ever, no thanks. How's Italy? And what do you want for your birthday? x'_

  
He stared up at his ceiling and when his phone buzzed, he knew it was Sansa's reply, most probably babbling about how great Italy was and how he was the only one who didn't have a partner now and how she hoped he would meet a nice girl soon because it was so important to her that he was happy - he was only 20 for goodness sake! - and how he would finally get to meet her new boyfriend, with the stupid name he could never remember, and how she wanted him to buy her some designer piece of frippery that cost five times what it was worth, even though she would doubtless buy herself a whole new wardrobe whilst she was in Italy with Margaery… He sighed.

  
But it might not be Sansa and if he didn't look, he could imagine it was someone else for a bit longer…

 

 

The following day, during his free period - after typing out several drafts and deleting them - he sent another message,

  
_'Just checking if you got my last message? We met on Saturday night. Let me know.'_

  
No reply came that day or the next.

He found himself unable to concentrate on the revision he should be doing for his biochemistry exam because his mind kept wondering back to the guy; the guy whose name he didn't even know, who he'd met in a club and sucked off in the toilets… it really wasn't a fairytale and he didn't know why he couldn't just forget him already…

  
"Pathetic," he muttered to himself, lowering his head onto his arms.

  
"Quite," Jon said from his doorway, making Robb jump, "He still hasn't got back to you?"

  
Robb shook his head, "I know I need to focus, but I just… can't… I know it's stupid."

  
"I understand," Jon smiled, "You saw how I was when I met Ygritte." Jon bit his lip, "But if he's not getting back to you, he's probably not worth your time. You'd probably meet someone better if you just jointed the LGBT-"

  
"No," Robb said, "I can't do that to dad."

  
"Dad wouldn't care."

  
"Maybe not, but the press would, and you know it'd make his life difficult-"

  
"He wouldn't care. He never disowned me and that hardly helped his career!"

  
"That's different. He wasn't so well known then, and cheating is more acceptable to sports fans than having a gay son. If the fans don't want him to coach anymore then the board-"

  
"You're exaggerating; he wouldn't lose his job over having a gay son. His personal life is nothing compared to his ability to win matches."

  
"I need to revise," Robb huffed, "this module is 80% on the exam…"

  
"I'll make you a coffee," Jon said, leaving Robb to his thoughts of thermodynamics and biological reactions, which still didn't quite count as revision…

 

 

He tried to call the number the day after, expecting it to be a fake, but it wasn't. It rang, then quickly went to answer phone. He hung up, not knowing what to say when the impersonal message from an automated voice gave no clue if it belonged to 'Charming' or not. Robb wondered what his real name was… imagined what suited him and daydreamed forlornly… _maybe Finn or Ryan_ … He knew he was probably only obsessing because the guy had got away and left him wanting, but he hadn't wanted anyone like this before, hadn't felt that spark that got under his skin like that.

 

The next day he turned his phone off all day. He sat his biochemistry exam and, for a short time, he managed not to think about Charming at all, because the exam was very hard and damned important to passing the first year of his Sports Science degree.  
When he got home and turned his phone on there were messages from Jon, Sansa, Arya and a voicemail from his mother, all wishing him luck and asking how his exam went.

  
But still no message from the guy, and he hated to admit how achingly disappointed that made him.

  
He threw the phone aside and collapsed onto his bed, sighing.

  
He wasn't sure how long later it was before his phone rang. He scrambled for it and saw the name on the screen ans sighed.

  
"Hi dad," he said.

  
"So, how did it go?" Ned asked.

  
"Not sure," Robb answered, "Ok on macromolecules, but there was a question on thermodynamics worth 15 points I think I messed up. Have to wait and see."

  
"Important stuff. Did you revise enough?"

  
"I tried."

  
Robb heard his mother's voice in the background.

  
"Your mother wants to know if you're coming to Sansa's party on Saturday because we'll be away in Portugal and we need someone responsible here."

  
"So you're asking me?! I'm not responsible, I'm a student!"

  
Ned laughed, "I'm sure you and Jon can manage to supervise a few teenage girls."

  
"It's an eighteenth birthday party, with a free bar and you're out of the county - do you think there's any hope of controlling it?!"

 

 

On Friday he still hadn't received any messages and had no more revision to 'distract' him.

  
So, after a day of sleepwalking through lectures, he got drunk and explained what had really happened to Jon, begging Jon not to judge him too harshly. Jon shrugged and didn't judge Robb, but he did say the guy sounded like an absolute prick who'd taken advantage of him, got what he could from Robb and given nothing back. Jon said Robb could do better and should stop pining.

  
Robb sent one last message after they'd finished a bottle of Jack Daniels between them.

  
_'I don’t know if this is really your number or not, but if you do get this message I'm really sorry to tell you that I've got herpes. I know it was only a blowjob, but i have blisters - I recommend you get tested asap'_

  
The next day Robb woke up on the sofa, feeling like a pig had shat in his head. He went through the usual ritual of looking at his phone and not seeing any new messages and then some sliver of memory flashed before him and he looked at the message he had sent last night… _I have herpes_ … yes, he'd really sent that message…

  
"Fuck…" Robb muttered and flung his phone away, "I'm a pathetic arsehole…"

  
With any luck it really was a fake number…

 

 

After several hours more sleep, a barocca, a fry up, a shower and some conciliatory words from Jon, he was as ready as he could be for Sansa's party.

  
At first, Jon and Ygritte had refused the invitation to the party - a house full of Sansa-type teenagers certainly didn't appeal to them, but after Robb's pathetic begging the two of them had agreed.

  
"Fine, if it's important to you," Jon had finally said.

  
"You had me at 'free bar'" Ygritte said.

  
Robb knew that Ygritte would travel through the gates of hell for Jon, which was more or less what going to the Stark house was like for both of them. Even though Robb's mother wasn't there, it was her house and Sansa was her daughter; Jon wasn't part of their family, even if Ned was his father. And Ygritte was unwelcome from the tips of her dreadlocked red hair to the soles of her Doc Marten'd feet; not only because she was Jon's girlfriend and she had dreadlocks, which was bad enough, but also because she was the front-woman in a band called The Wildlings, who sang subversive songs about freedom and the establishment, which was against everything the Starks stood for. Jon would never ask Ygritte to go with him to their house, but he'd never need to. In truth, Robb was a little jealous of that; not because he fancied Ygritte in any way, but because of what she and Jon had found so easily with one another. Why he couldn't just like girls and meet someone who was perfect for him, he didn't quite understand.  
He sat in the back of the car and re-read his last message to Charming and wondered, for the hundredth time that day, if he should just text again and say that it had been a lie, just in case it wasn't a fake number. He sighed and put the phone away for the hundredth time. _Only if he texts me_ , he told himself.

 

 

The Stark house was big - swimming-pool-tennis-courts-and-gym-included-big - but it was packed full of teenagers in designer clothes, drinking sugary drinks and gabbling about vapid things. In actual fact, Robb couldn't hear what they were talking about, but it was _probably_ vapid and he was still hungover enough to make snap judgments.

  
Robb noticed several big men in black suits, with sunglasses and earpieces, "They've hired fucking security! We are clearly not needed - let's just go home…"

  
Jon caught him as he turned, "we're here now, and Sansa has been on at you to meet her boyfriend for ages and it's her eighteenth birthday. We're staying."

  
Robb stared at the crowds really understanding the phrase 'Hell is other people' for the first time in his life, "I wonder how many of them Sansa is going to try and set me up with…"

  
"To the bar," Ygritte said, putting a hand on Robb's back and pushing him forward, "It'll all look better through beer goggles."

  
"That's what you said last night…" Robb groaned, reluctantly leading the way.

  
"And I was right. You were singing until 3am… you only got sad once you got sober again…"

 

 

Robb hadn't managed to even find Sansa yet, but he had found the bar and he had drunk enough to need to find the bathroom. He made his way towards his bedroom to use his own en suit; with any luck the drunk teenagers wouldn't have found that one and he could disappear for a while. He walked through his old room without turning on the light, reached the en suit, fumbled with the light and didn't bother to shut the door behind him.

  
He was mid-flow when the door clicked shut behind him. He looked over his shoulder, trying to keep his aim steady.

  
Prince _fucking_ Charming was standing right there, locking his bathroom door.

  
The spike of adrenaline was so strong he thought he might vomit. Before he could speak the guy snapped at him, "Are you stalking me!?"

  
Robb frowned, "You followed me in here! If anyone's stalking, it's you!"

  
Robb finished, shook and zipped up, then washed his hands, clumsy with adrenaline and alcohol. He tried to process if this was real or if he was imagining things…

  
"You're the one who kept messaging me all week! And now you're here!" he did actually look nervous, Robb thought.

  
"And you're the one who gave me his number and never fucking replied… after not reciprocating - and that blowjob _deserved_ some fucking reciprocation!" Robb did a combination of leering and glaring, which probably worked better in his head.

  
The guy stormed over to Robb and grabbed his shirt, pushed him back against the basin, "And you're the one who told me he had herpes!"

  
Robb looked awkward, "I don't actually have-"

  
"I can fucking see that, you prick!" the guy said, shoving Robb away, but looking more relieved than angry.

  
Robb shrugged, "you kind of deserved it…"

  
They glared at one another for a moment - the confrontation seemed to have finished, but nobody was walking away...

  
"So, what are you doing here?" the guy said.

  
"It's a party," Robb shrugged, not wanting to tell the stranger he'd sucked off that the mansion they were currently standing in belonged to his daddy, and if he wanted to earn a quick bit of cash he could go straight to the tabloids and sell his story. "What are you doing here?" he shot back.

  
"Like you said, it's a party…" the guy said, "why are you hiding up here? Thought this bit was off limits…"

  
"Teenage girls. My sister keeps trying to set me up with her friends - I think that's why she wanted me to come to this stupid party in the first place."

  
The guy laughed softly, "What a hardship…"

  
Robb laughed too, in spite of himself, "I don't know if you noticed, but that isn't exactly where my interests lie."

  
"I noticed," the guy said. When their eyes met, lightening pulsed through Robb's veins and he knew where this was heading.

  
"I hoped you had…" Robb whispered.

  
There was a moment where it could have gone either way, but then it broke and Robb reached for the guy, pressed him against the nearest wall and kissed him viciously. The kiss was warm and wet and the slight stubble felt rough as sandpaper against his face and lips when he moved, he could feel teeth, hard against the softness of his lips and taste the slight bitterness of whatever he'd been drinking. He buried his hands in the guys hair. It was soft and a little too long, but perfect for holding on to; he tightened his grip and gave a little tug.

  
"I could get used to this," he breathed, "with you on your knees like you promised…"

  
The guy pushed Robb away, wiped his mouth on his sleeve and slipped out from between Robb and the wall, "I… fuck… I shouldn’t have done that…"

  
Robb sighed and dropped his forehead against the wall with a thunk, "What now…? Are you going to run off again and feed me another bullshit story…?"

  
There was a long pause.

  
"No," he breathed.

  
Robb waited for more of an answer; he could hear the hesitation, the parted lips, the nervous intake of breath that came before difficult words.

  
"My girlfriend is out there," he said.

  
The sick feeling hit Robb like an punch to the stomach, "Oh..."

  
Silence hung between them, but the guy still wasn't leaving… he just stood awkwardly, not meeting Robb's eye.

  
"So you're going to leave again…?" Robb asked, not knowing what he really wanted the answer to be.

  
The guy bit his lip and then their eyes met and Robb's stomach twisted, he felt a tingle in his groin that almost felt like he needed to piss again. And then the guy shook his head and went to his knees in front of Robb.

 

 

Robb stumbled back down to the party, sated and sleepy and still drunk. He felt much more able to deal with all these annoying, drunk girls after coming hard down Charming's throat and, it occurred to him, that they still hadn't managed to exchange real names yet… It also occurred to him that he should feel bad for the poor beard of a girlfriend that was probably around somewhere talking avidly about some shade of lipstick or some reality tv star or something equally _fascinating_ , but he found that he didn't really have the emotions left over to care. Her boyfriend was gay, so it was never going to work and Robb fucking his pretty face wasn't going to make the slightest difference to the outcome of their doomed relationship. So there. He didn't feel guilty… he headed to the bar in order to drown out any voices in his head that made noises to the contrary…

  
"Robb!" Sansa's voice carried over the crowd and he saw her hand waving to him. He cut a path towards her.

  
"Where have you been?! Jon said you got here over an hour ago!" She said, hugging him.

  
"Sorry! There's so many people here - we must have missed each other. Let me buy you a drink!" Robb said.

  
"They're free!" Sansa laughed.

  
"In that case, you can get me one to help cure my hangover," Robb said, pushing her towards the bar and winking.

  
"Hey! Whose birthday is it?!" Sansa laughed, but grabbed Robb's hand and pulled him toward the bar, "Fine, come on! Theon is at the bar anyway and I think you two will really get on; I've told him so much about you."

  
"Theon!" Sansa shouted, "Can you grab Robb a beer too!"

  
Sansa's boyfriend was leaning on the bar; he was tall and lean and dark haired, and when he turned around he was smiling. Of course the smile died when he saw Sansa gripping Robb's arm and approaching at speed.

  
Robb felt sick. It was him. _Of course_ it was.

  
His little sister's boyfriend was cheating on her.

  
With him.

  
Shit.

 

tbc...


	2. The Shrine of your Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse. 
> 
> Sorry it's not a very long chapter!

 

"I'm so glad you two have finally met!" Sansa said, smiling from between the two of them.

"Yeah," Robb tried to smile back, "me too."

"Theon is studying Business Management at uni…"

Robb wasn't listening as Sansa babbled on about her boyfriend; he could hear the blood pounding in his ears and a blur of background noise that sounded far away, and her voice weaving over the top clear and meaningless, like the lyrics of a song in a foreign language. But the tone was anxious as she continued and he knew that he should probably say something reassuring about now…

Robb refocused, looked at Sansa's concerned frown; then he looked at her boyfriend just standing there staring at the floor, jaw set, hands curled into fists.

"Are you ok?" Sansa said.

"I…" Robb's voice came out a rasp and he cleared his throat, "I'm fine…"

Then _he_ looked up from the floor. Their eyes met and Robb's pulse spiked, sending pain and pins and needles into his limbs, as sickening adrenaline flooded his body with a fight or flight reaction that was clumsy with alcohol. Robb had stared into those eyes before he'd pushed the guy to his knees, before he'd felt those lips around his cock and fucked that mouth, not sparing a thought for the girlfriend... For Sansa. The image of Theon returning to her and kissing her, licking her brother's saliva and semen into her mouth made bile rise in Robb's throat and he swayed.

He shook his head, "Actually I'm not… Too much whiskey…" he turned away.

Sansa started to follow, "Shall I get you some water?"

"No, I just need some air," he said turning back to her, "I'm fine."

He looked into her eyes and smiled reassuringly. He lied with his face and she believed him and smiled back.

"Ok. Come find me later…?"

He nodded and turned away, squeezed through the press of bodies until he reached the front door, figuring it would be quieter than the back yard. He nodded to the security guard on the door, saying he needed some air free of teenage girls and the man nodded and opened the door for him.

Robb stepped out into the cold night, shutting the noise of the party inside, behind him.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself, leaning against the wall of the porch.

He shut his eyes and just breathed. Then someone else opened the door, but he kept his eyes shut; the sound of the party got louder for a moment, and then quieter as the door shut again. Robb didn't want to open his eyes because, in a perverse reversal of his hopes from earlier in the week, he was almost sure who he was going to see and he was willing to pretend otherwise for a moment longer…

"Smoke…?"

Robb's eyes flew open; he'd been expecting accusations, insults, threats and he had a few retorts on the tip of his tongue, before he registered the casual civility of the words. He stared in disbelief at Theon for a minute, then cleared his throat, unsure of what he was going to say.

"Yeah, ok," he said, the answer surprising him as much as the hoarseness of his own voice. He didn't really smoke; the occasional one when drinking, but he'd said yes without thought. That was definitely a habit he should break when it came to Theon...

Theon finished the rolly he was making, lifting it to his mouth and staring at Robb as he licked it closed. Robb looked away, feeling sick again. Theon held out the rolly and Robb took it.

He was about to ask for a light when Theon took out a silver zippo and lit it with a flick and twist, quicker than Robb could follow; Robb found himself admiring his dexterous fingers before he could think and was immediately angry with himself again. Theon cupped the flame from the breeze and held it out for Robb, looking expectant. Robb leaned in and, as the cigarette flared orange, their eyes met and it was like electricity in his veins again. His pulse raced, his breath caught and arousal rose back up in him, even as his heart sank. He still wanted it, despite his sister; they both did.

Before Robb could even decide what to do with that, Theon snapped the zippo shut, extinguishing the flame and stepped back from him.

"Don't. I'm with Sansa-" he said, looking like a cornered animal.

"That didn't matter to you half an hour ago!" Robb said angrily and then, realising how that sounded, he amended, "And anyway, who says I was asking?!"

Theon laughed, "Whatever, Stark." He pulled the cigarette from Robb's unprotesting fingers, "I know you're too much of a coward to tell her, but she wouldn't believe you even if you did."

"What?" Robb said.

"If you tell her... she wouldn't believe you anyway" Theon said, "she says you've hated every boyfriend she's ever had. You always find a reason she should be alone. Like you are. She thinks you're not capable and so you don't want anyone else to be..."

Robb felt numb for a moment, and then anger flared; he hated Theon right then, "You're afraid! That's _all_ you care about…? If you get caught. You don't fucking deserve her!"

Theon put a hand over his heart in mock sincerity, "if there was any justice in the world, _someone_ would tell her what a cheating, lying prick I am... but she doesn't deserve to have a brother like you either." 

Robb swallowed and hated himself; he knew he wasn't going to tell her, so he wouldn't even threaten to do it. Instead he whispered, "I should, but I won't. You should leave her. Tell her whatever you like, but break up with her and get out of our lives."

Theon looked away, the glowing tip of the cigarette trembled, then he took a drag and breathed out; smoke mingled with bravado in the night air." _Please don't ask that_ ," he whispered.

Robb felt a lance of pain. Theon _wanted_ to be with Sansa. Unequivocally. He wasn't even torn between them, he had just had Robb because he could, because Robb had made it easy. What was a few minutes in a bathroom stall compared to a real relationship…? What they had shared was meaningless. It was so obvious, and yet there was a part of him that wished Theon was more tempted by him. Shame flooded him… At least Theon regretted what they'd done. But Theon was definitely interested in men sexually and that wasn't going to go away, even if he did care about Sansa…

Robb sighed, "If you're gay, it's not fair to-"

"I am _not_!" Theon snarled, throwing the cigarette aside and moving aggressively towards Robb; angry for the first time.

Robb put his hands up in a placating gesture, "Ok, bi then. I guess if you fancy women too-"

"I _only_ fancy women!"

Robb laughed, "So, sucking my cock was what exactly…? You mistook it for-"

"Fuck you!" Theon growled, shoving Robb hard and cutting his words off.

"So, you're going to pretend because you want to be _normal_ ," Robb laughed bitterly, " That's a _great_ plan. Tell me, can you even get it up for a girl!? You've already cheated on her; how long before all you want is dick again...?"

Theon jerked forward again, grabbed Robb's shirt and slammed him against the wall, "Shut up! I'm not a fucking-" he struggled for a word, "I'm not!"

Robb pushed Theon back and laughed, "Not what?! A bender? A fag?"

Theon hit him.

Even drunk, Robb had seen it coming - all the Stark children had had self-defence classes as mandatory from a young age, but Robb had done years of martial arts training on top of that. He let Theon's punch connect and didn't retaliate. He spat some blood into the roses by the front door, "You've got a week to break things off-"

Theon slammed Robb back against the wall again and hissed in his face, "Don't try and push me, Stark... I'll go to the press about you. What will daddy's fans think of that?!"

Robb's blood ran cold in his veins, but his cheeks felt hot and his eyes were burning; this was what he'd been afraid of and somehow Theon knew that. They looked at each other in silence for a moment, each seeing the misery and shame on the other's face and each wishing it wasn't so obvious.

"You win," Robb said bitterly, pushing Theon off him, then turning and walking away from the house, "Tell Sansa I've gone home."

He didn't look back, so he didn't see Theon turn and lean his forehead against the wall, take a deep breath, then hiss out a curse and punch the wall in frustration.

 

Robb knew he could get back to the flat in less than an hour. Ok, so it wasn't close, it wasn't warm and it wasn't his very best plan ever, but it was better than going back inside. Or telling Jon or Ygritte what had happened…

His phone was ringing. Sansa again. He couldn't talk to her. He couldn't.

He ignored it and it stopped, but she'd left a message.

_"Robb, where are you? Are you ok? I checked everywhere and I can't find you! Call me back, idiot!"_

Sansa was worried about him and he so didn't deserve that kindness.

He tapped out a quick message.

_I'm fine. I've gone home. Have a good night and don't worry about me - just drank too much. Sorry to put a damper on your big day xx_

Sansa replied quickly. Robb didn't read it. He walked on, wishing he had his headphones with him so he could listen to music as he walked because, after twenty minutes, he was bored. Then a car pulled up next to him.

The passenger window rolled down.

"You don't look that drunk," Jon called from the driver's seat, "You look cold."

"Winter's coming," Robb shrugged, "and I'm only in a t-shirt."

"Pussy!" Jon said, "Get in."

Robb gave a small smile and got in.

Jon smiled back, but then his eyes caught on the bruise that was rising on Robb's jaw, illuminated by the car's fading interior lights. Jon snapped the lights back on and stared, frowning.

"What happened?" he said, in a low voice.

Robb said nothing.

"I can sit here all night," Jon said, stubbornly turning the engine off.

"He was there," Robb sighed, "with his girlfriend."

"Fuck. And he _hit_ you?"

"Yes." Jon looked skeptical, "And was this guy Jean Claude Van Damme…?"

"What?" Robb said, confused.

"How the fuck did he hit you?!" Jon exploded, "You're not that drunk and you're a black belt in Jaime Lannister's own brand of Fuk-Yu. Why did you _let_ him hit you?"

"I don't know," Robb said, not willing to say he'd deserved a punch because Jon would defend him, even against himself.

Neither spoke for another minute.

"What a dick... At least you never have to see him again. Closure, man," Jon said.

"Yeah…" Robb said, staring out of the window, not daring to say any more in case the truth burst out. This mistake was far from in the past; Robb feared it was only just beginning.

"Where's Ygritte?" Robb asked, desperate to talk about something else.

"She'll be back later," Jon said, putting the car in gear and pulling away from the curb, "After all her talk about Sansa's friends, she met the front man of some band she likes; I left them arguing over who's going to be the headline act at the gig they're planning. They'd just decided to settle the matter with a drinking contest, so I'm sure we'll be attending another Wildlings gig next week."

"Doesn't it worry you?" Robb said, before he could think better of it.

Jon was silent for a moment and Robb wondered if he hadn't understood, then he said, "No, it doesn't."

"Why not?" Robb pressed.

Jon spoke quietly, but with conviction, "I know she loves me and I trust her. For all her faults, she's honest… she'd never cheat; if she wanted someone else more than she wants me, she'd leave me."

Robb didn't reply. The silence hung between them for a moment.

"I'm sorry it wasn't like that with him," Jon said softly.

Robb held his breath and swallowed against the lump in his throat; he flicked on the radio to fill the silence.

_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife_

Robb knew the words and tune of the song, but hadn't really _heard_ it before. He listened and felt it comb through his soul, both familiar and jarring, like the hands of a lover, but icy cold. It made him shiver and flinch as it mourned and rejoiced in harmony.

He focused on the pain in his jaw and the taste of blood in his mouth and he didn't cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song on the radio is 'Take me to Church' by Hozier.


	3. Pure Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another little piece of the puzzle :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you recognise one particular line from Veronica Mars, it's because I totally stole it from the lovely Logan Echolls)

Robb was woken up by the sound of laughter and the smell of bacon. He sat up slowly; he wasn't particularly hungover, but his jaw hurt more now that he was sober. He looked in the mirror, gently running fingers over the reddened, swollen flesh. He'd had many more serious injuries from training various forms of taijutsu with Jaime Lannister over the years, but he knew his family would all know this bruise wasn't from training. He glared at his reflection in annoyance.

  
He pulled on tracksuit bottoms and a threadbare tee and wondered down the hall towards the kitchen. As he passed the open door of the lounge, he was assaulted by the sound of very loud rock music. He glanced at the mound of blankets, which almost certainly contained a very hung-over Ygritte, and pulled the door shut. He followed his nose to the kitchen where Jon was cooking breakfast and Arya was pulling out plates and cutlery, and chatting animatedly about a new technique she'd learned from her martial arts tutor.

  
"He's alive! More bacon!" Arya called to Jon as she saw Robb, then she focused on his face, "what the fuck happened to you?!"

  
"Arya!" Robb and Jon both said, both sounding like Ned for an instant.

  
"Fuck you both. I can say what I like," she said amiably, before refocusing on Robb "Who punched you?"

  
Robb sat down at the table and breathed a slight laugh, "Just some douchebag."

  
"He'd better look worse than you, or I'll tell dad you're pissing on the family name," Arya said, as Jon poured him a glass of orange juice and nodded to a blister pack of painkillers on the table.

  
"Life isn't a tournament," Robb said, popping two tablets into his mouth and washing them down with juice, "sometimes the right thing to do is not hit someone back."

  
"Bullshit. Someone hits you, you knock them out. Life is a tournament; you win or you die," Arya said, taking the seat opposite Robb and glaring.

  
Robb laughed, "You've been training with the Lannisters, I see."

  
Arya grinned, "Golden Lion Tournament's this afternoon - you better be coming."

  
"What time is your category?"

  
"Three," Arya said, "but we're going at one."

  
Robb glanced at the clock; it was already 11:30am, "I'm tired… and my face hurts…"

  
"Cry me a river! You shouldn't have let someone punch you, Douche-face. Lannister is gonna kick your arse for being such a little pussy," Arya said.

  
"Arya, you're not giving him much incentive…" Jon said, "bacon's done; pass the plates."

  
Arya hopped up and began ferrying empty plates to Jon and full plates back to the table. "Jon and Ygritte are coming. Because they love me more than you do," Arya said, putting a full plate in front of Robb, "even though I give you juice, breakfast and painkillers!"

  
Robb chewed his mouthful, raised an eyebrow and pointed at Jon.

  
"I helped!" Arya said.

  
"You could come along," Jon said, "might cheer you up."

  
Robb glared.

  
"I did make you breakfast and get you juice and painkillers," Jon said, "and I drove you home."

  
Robb looked down at his breakfast in horror, then mimed removing a hair from his mouth, "Would you look at that?! There was a string attached to my bacon!"

  
Jon grinned and Robb sighed, "Fine…"

  
"Yes!" Arya said, tucking into her own breakfast, as Jon put the last two plates onto the table.

  
"Breakfast!" Jon called out into the hallway, and sat down.

  
"Sorry, I shut the door - you know the volume she likes her music," Robb said standing and waving at Jon to stay and eat, "I'll just get her."

  
"Ygritte's at work already," Jon said.

  
Robb gave him a quizzical look and gestured down the hall, "Who…?"

  
"The musician she met last night. She said he'd be feeling shitty today," Jon laughed, "so I promised we'd look after him. Hope he's not too much of a dick; the strays Ygritte brings home tend to have been abandoned for a reason…"

  
"Ok, I'll get him. You eat," Robb sighed and shook his head as he headed for the lounge.

  
He pushed open the door. Robb spoke to the heap of blankets, "Hey…? Breakfast is ready."

  
The guy croaked, "fuck…I feel awful…"

  
Robb laughed, "Yeah, sorry man, you should never try and keep up with Ygritte. She should wear a health warning. Come and get breakfast and painkillers."

  
"Coffee…?" he groaned.

  
"Sure," Robb said. "How d'you take it?"

  
The guy stood and the blankets fell away. Robb froze; Theon was standing, mostly naked, with his back to him, moaning and stretching.

  
"Any way I can get it," Theon laughed, "and I'll have the coffee sweet and milky please."

  
Robb felt a spark of fury at the flirtatious words, even if the tone had been jocular; "Wow… there are no limits to what an incredible dick you are, are there…?" Robb said in a cold, derisive voice.

  
Theon spun quickly, "Holy fucking shitballs! I didn't recognise your voice when you weren't pissed off or turned on!"

  
Robb laughed coldly, "So you just let any stranger you meet know you'll take it any way you can get it… just in case they know anyone who isn't fussy…? Or in case they're not, knowing you prefer men."

  
"I was joking!" Theon said, "If it hadn't been you, it would have been funny!"

  
"You expect me to believe that after-" Robb spat, "You're such a piece of shit."

  
"It was a fucking joke! I might have made some mistakes when drunk, but I'm not going to come on to some random guy who might just punch me in the face…" Theon trailed off, looking guiltily at Robb's bruised face, "look man, I'm sorry about your face… can't we just start over…?"

  
Robb just stared at him, incredulous.

  
"Hey, you guys ok?" Jon said, stepping into the silent room, "Food's getting cold."

  
"Yeah," Theon smiled brightly, "didn't realise you lived with my girlfriend's brother! That's such a headfuck! So, are you two…?"

  
"Brothers," Robb tried not to snap, "Yes. Jon is Ygritte's boyfriend."

  
Theon looked sceptical, "Really? Sansa only mentioned Robb..."

  
"Half-brother," Jon said, "Sansa's mother doesn't care for me, and Sansa is very loyal. How do you and Robb know each other?" Jon looked between the two of them and Robb knew he was going to work it out, if he hadn't already.

  
Robb plastered a grin on his face, picked up Theon's t-shirt from the floor and threw it at him, "put some frigging clothes on, you dick!" Robb laughed in feigned affection, then said to Jon, "Weirdly, we actually went to college together. When Sansa introduced us last night, I was like 'no fucking way', but she always has had terrible taste," Robb laughed and Theon grinned and put his middle finger up at him; he both hated and loved that Theon seemed to be such a good liar.

  
Jon nodded slowly as Theon did up his belt, "But…?" Jon looked at Robb searchingly, "He knows…?"

  
Robb didn't have to pretend to be uncomfortable, "We were pretty close back then…"

  
Jon raised an eyebrow at him; Robb blushed and Theon grinned.

  
"You don't have to be embarrassed about crushing on me, Robby. You're only human," Theon said, clapping Robb on the shoulder, then turned to Jon, "luckily, he realised what a womanising dick I was and got over it!"

  
Robb knew his own look of complete mortification was actually selling this lie brilliantly, but it still stung a little when Jon laughed.

  
"So, you can see why I'm so thrilled about you dating my sister!" Robb snapped, "As I was saying, you're not exactly boyfriend material."

  
"Don't be jealous, Robby-bear!" Theon crooned and Robb could have punched him. But he really didn't want Jon to know the depths that he'd sunk to… and the lies he was willing to tell to hide that. Theon looked sincere for a moment, "I've changed; let's start over."

  
"Fucking breakfast!" Arya shouted from the kitchen.

  
Theon shouldered between them towards the kitchen and Jon looked at Robb speculatively before following.

  
Robb stood alone in the hallway and frowned, "If only…"

 

Introductions were made and Theon and Arya exchanged insults like pleasantries, whilst wolfing down fried food. Robb stood and drank coffee, wondering how the hell this guy was prissy Sansa's boyfriend. They were all getting along alright; if he accepted their lie as reality, even he and Theon seemed to be getting on alright.

  
"Not that I'm fed up of you guys or anything, but where is that gorgeous redhead of yours?" Theon said to Jon, winking.

  
"Work," Jon said, and grinned at Theon's stunned face.

  
"She's a machine!" Theon laughed without malice, "Seriously though, thanks for letting me crash; those bouncers really can't take a joke…"

  
"No problem," Jon said, at the same time as Robb said, "What happened? Why didn't Sansa help you?"

  
"She was already asleep," Theon said, "It was 5am and me and Ygritte were having a mostly fake punch up - it was slow-motion for fuck sake! So anyway… don't touch that, put that down, get out now… so my place is pretty far and I was planning to crash at Sansa's," Robb shot him a look, "and in no way take advantage," Theon added putting his hands up, "So Ygritte let me crash here."

  
Jon's phone pinged and he pulled it out and read a message, "Ygritte is gonna be a little late, so we'll pick her up on the way to the tournament. You wanna come too, Theon?"

  
Robb bit his lip; Theon looked at him and then said, "No, I better go; had a fair few pissy messages from Sansa this morning, worrying about where I'd gone to. I think I have some making up to do."

  
Theon looked at Robb, no doubt expecting a reaction. Robb looked at the clock, "gonna hit the shower."

  
As he left the room he heard Arya trying to persuade Theon to change his mind and accompany them. He sighed and hoped he wouldn't.

 

He stood under the hot spray and felt truly pissed off with himself and the universe too. He wished he hadn't lied to Jon, he wished Theon wasn't here, he wished they hadn't argued last night, he wished they hadn't fooled around last night…. He wished he'd never met Theon before Sansa introduced him… then all this could be real and not full of lies and guilt…

  
On the plus side, he didn't actually see that much of Sansa, as they were both busy a lot and didn't move in the same circles. He doubted that would change, despite Theon making friends with Jon and Ygritte, as Sansa didn't get on with either of them. He wouldn't have to see him after today and hopefully Sansa would realise he was a lying, cheating wanker soon and break up with him, and then all this could just be put in the past…


End file.
